Plateau

I have been in personal turmoil lately as the pain, if that is the correct terminology of my divorce which has taken an unexpected turn with the judge needing more information, which when added to my wife now being over seven months and visibly pregnant with the child she never wanted with me has been acute. Working all week has only shielded me from the reality of the situation and I have to embrace the truth. Hence I have reached a plateau now. Let things even themselves out and let the road ahead become more level.

would you leave your children alone with this man?

It is a matter of trust.

Do you trust this man?

I don’t.

Panties

Why do only women wear panties? The soft, sensual feel would be sublime against the meat and two veg as opposed to the rough caress of boxer shorts.

Some men are rebelling against this maxim of what is wrong and right. Jeremy Clarkson, the motor correspondent and loud mouthed twat is happy to mow the lawn to his mansion while wearing the latest designs from M&S, though S&M might be more in his line. Food critic and sometime film director Michael Winner is content to poach his eggs in a fetching pair of lilac hiphuggers from Victoria’s Secret.

Jose Mourinho, football manager introduced the concept to his Chelsea players, where each week the player voted most improved by the others would be awarded the last pair worn by Mourinho as a keepsake. Frank Lampard still has them even though Mourinho was sacked by Chelsea a long time ago. Rumour has it that his removal from the club was not so much a clash of personalities but his refusal to recommend Peter Kenyon, a club official, for an account at Ann Summers.

So come on guys, get with the latest fad and put on a pair of panties!

Rest In Peace

Sleep well Marie Gomez, you were a wonderful woman! 

I am so fucking annoyed

If you dislike profanity then read no further, hit the back button, fuck off

I received an email from area admin today informing me of a health and safety problem that was of my making. On Friday a first-aid course was held and I set up the room, provided the refreshments which included boiling water in an urn to help provide the drinks. Now one of the first things to learn as a trained first-aider is to assess for danger to oneself and anyone else before venturing further. I may be wrong but I would have thought that putting your hand on top of an urn full of boiling water was quite a significant risk. Fucking moron.

Now I have to remove the urn leaving every other group, sometimes of up to 40 people to use a small bloody kettle in relay to have a cup of tea. Now I have to assess for other dangers, someone falling over a bin for example if their shoelaces are untied and they stumble, provide barriers to hot radiators. What the fuck happened to personal responsibility? How the hell do I legislate for a stupid cunt like that?

And why did nobody tell me on Friday? Because they knew that I would say exactly what I am saying now and not sugar coat my words.

Roll on tomorrow.